Illuminated Shadow

Feeling a bit drowsy, I stretch my arms and dart a glance out of the window with a yawn. Everything's still burning in the sun and there seems no sign of upcoming rain though I don't actually expect it at all. Lazily I get up to make myself a cup of espresso. Someone would call coffee "morningthunder" cos it wakes you up in the morning, now I need it to function as "afternoonthunder". There naturally is the image about last night how I tossed and tumbled restlessly in bed without air conditioning. I'm now planning to move out, yes! It's a must. Ok, stop complaining...

Hereunder is the misleading but vivid description which I found elsewhere.

Quote:

Are You Dirty Minded?

It's your first time.

As you lie back your muscles tighten.

You put him off for a while searching for an excuse,

but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely.

He has had more experience,

but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses;

but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him

- he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you

and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance.

You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time,

wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.

As he presses closer, going deeper,

you feel the tissue give way;

pain surges throughout your body

and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues.

He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.

Your eyes are filled with tears

but you shake your head and nod for him to go on.

He begins going in and out with skill

but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments,

you feel something bursting within you

and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting,

glad to have it over.

He looks at you and smiling warmly,

tells you, with a chuckle;

that you have been his most stubborn

yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist.

After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

What were you thinking? You dirty minded thing!

It's beyond my words to describe how I exactly feel when I'm reading the news about London bombings. It's reported more than 50 people died of the explosion on three subway trains and a bus in few minutes. In no time transport system in London crumbled after the terror attacks. The security forces are still searching in the wreckage for the missing people and the number of the dead seems to rise. It takes everyone a life-long time to live but just maybe one second to die. What's going on with the world? Is it going insane? Or it's never been sane? Who's the perpetrator? Al-Qaeda? Osama Bin Laden?!

If we try to position ourselves where Londoners see and hear, what would we feel? If we were families of those anguished victims, what would we feel? Distraught! I do feel a great pity for those whose brother, mother, father, daughter (...) were devoured by terrorists' atrocity! But I can only pray there won't be any more bomb attacks and terrorism is to be eliminated in the coming future. You can easily imagine those who lost their families are weeping for misfortunes and the deceased. You can also easily imagine how much it means to a family when a member passes away. It's a real tragedy when violence leads to silence, moreover, the future is unpredictable and violence seems to prevail in a very long time that comes up. Think about what the attacks have left to us? Tears? Fear? Terror? Or the determination of avenging? Is violence the optimal solution for itself? Obviously not. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. That's why we can not simply meet violence with violence and that's why terrorists committed these bomb assaults. This doesn't mean I'm preaching down violence when London cops are firing to those probable bomb carriers.

Spurred by the fear of a new attack, Londoners were anyway the winners when the terrorists tried to sow fear and panic; they's resumed the daily life and inspiringly London is on the way of recovering and people there are going to return to a normal life again. New York, London, what's next? Paris? Can we nip them all in the bud?

It's been so long a time since the last time I put something new on my blog. These days life is going as usual and nothing promising has happened to me; It's quite true that whatever is worth writing is worth reading well; shamefully It's not for sure whether what I'm writing here is worth your reading or not. Please keep it in your mind that I don't mean to waste your time if you are reading this.

I forget when it started fazing me periodically during innumerous sleepless nights, but I'll never forget how I felt when it crept to me and I call that "obsession complex": anxiety, anger, fear, sentimentality, insomnia, etc. Why am I supposed to suffer from all of them? Why are my dreams full of weird and unforeseeable illusions? Am I the one who chose a wrong pathway? Am I the only one who can redeem myself? Are we really changing but never changed? God just echo with a dead silence every time I yell these questions at him on my mind.

Someone said, actually it's said by George Dennis Carlin, an American comedian and writer,"The unfairest thing about life is the way it ends and you can get only death in the end as a so-called bonus; hence life should be backward as follows: Everyone starts his life from death instead of birth. From an old man to a young man, then to a little boy, then back to his mother's womb, at last, finish off from an orgasm."

I very appreciate his original idea, but there's one thing I want to add: Another unfairest thing about life is the way it starts. Someone is born to be noble yet someone born to be humble; Someone is born to be healthy yet someone born to be ill; Someone is born to be rich yet someone born to be poor. Life seems to be unfair from the very beginning to the end. Is it really so? Definitely yes. However, should it be our biggest concern? Should we cry for it since there's no absolute fairness? Definitely no. Wherever and whenever a child is born( the child could be you), no matter whether he's disabled or healthy, no matter in which family he's going to be brought up, poor or rich, no matter what social class he belongs to, the fair thing is , compared with any other child elsewhere, that he gets a chance to choose, choose the inner attitudes towards others and the world,  negative or positive?! choose the way of acting and performing, passively or actively?! choose the way of life, pessimistic or optimistic?! choose to believe in the efforts or not! choose to make a change to his life or not! choose to choose or not! He is still young. He can choose if he plans to because in most circumstances it's not the problem of whether he is able to or unable to but he is willing to or unwilling to.